It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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