In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
