roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
