at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
