I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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