Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I intend to get homeless drunk
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
