so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
