we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
