in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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