put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
