you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
