it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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