on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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