6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
