Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
