Midget sex pt 2 tonight
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
