i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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