NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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