you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The Olympian is in my bed
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
