Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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