She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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