Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
