woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
