dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
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oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
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Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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