you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
