So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
