I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
