I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
