I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My dick has a subreddit
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
