Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
