I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
