can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
