So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize