How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
