So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
