if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
