If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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