Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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