What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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