Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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