Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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