I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
