ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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