8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
