you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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