Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
