Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
