I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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