My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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