Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
pray to the hookup gods
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
