i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
