I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
