he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize