When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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