I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
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You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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