And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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