R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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