I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
