I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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