and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Can you bring me the toilet please
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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