Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
that's an acceptable place to lick
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
