O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
