IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
