I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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