omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
