Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
