I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
