i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
