It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
