That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
