"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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